I have often heard about the glass ceiling as it pertains to women being blocked from advancing to the higher levels of professional success. From what I have heard, often, the reasons for the inequity is male privilege and discrimination. Is that true? At first glance, there certainly seems to be credible evidence for that assertion although there is some progress being made. Back in 2022, women were running more than 9.4% of Fortune 500 companies, with 47 women serving as CEOs. In January 2023, the number of female CEOs increased to 53, which is more than 10% of Fortune 500 companies for the first time in history. (Today its 52.) But why aren’t the scales more gender-balanced in the C-suite? Some would say there are a myriad of reasons, chief among them: unequal pay, stress and burnout, starting a family, and caregiving responsibilities. Yet, after flipping through Netflix, I think there may be another reason – bullying.
Check out these movie clips, the first one from the movie – The Devil Wears Prada.
And this one – Mean Girls.
If you take out the over-the-top entertainment from the clips, you see components of the phenomenon known as Queen Bee Syndrome, where women who report to women experience a greater frequency of bullying, abuse, and job sabotage. Why does it happen? Well, women who target other women do so because they feel threatened and insecure, and their biggest fear is another woman will take their position. Another reason is “pathological envy and internalized misogyny” (especially in the HR industry) according to these comments from the Substack – Hacking Narcissism.
Women bully other women because of pathological envy and internalized misogyny. This is rampant in HR, as I have unfortunately had no choice but to work alongside HR my entire career. Many of the mediocre and low performers in HR tend to be the worst bullies yet they rise through the ranks. When someone has targeted you at work and they are bullying you: what they are really doing is disowning the bad parts of themselves and assigning them to you. Bullies burn themselves in effigy. Best to leave asap not all companies tolerate abuse. – Christy C.
Pathological envy and internalized misogyny – each of these deserve their own articles. I’ve heard about HR being one of the most toxic depts in organisations and are almost exclusively run by women. It reminds me of what I’ve heard about nursing culture. Scapegoating is one of the strategies used to deny the bully’s role in abuse and distract from their conduct. And it sadly is a successful strategy. Thank you so much for weighing in Christy! – Nathalie M.
Many years ago I watched two (extremely intelligent and capable) women compete with one another for the attention of a Director. It was horrid to watch, and, I felt, embarrassing for both of them. In hindsight, I realise that the Director deliberately pitted them against one another as a means of controlling them both. Just as men will often side with power, so too will women. If forced to compete with another woman for recognition, opportunities, rewards … they will compete, and bully, laterally. It is less about gender, and more about power. It just so happens that men hold the majority of powerful positions (in both male and female-dominated industries). – Fiona T.
There were many more comments available on that page. As I read them, it also became apparent that Women may sabotage one another because they feel that helping their female co-workers could jeopardize their own careers; something also reported on here. Hmm… This issue seems like one of those things I am the last to learn about. Did you know that research from the Workplace Bullying Institute found that a third of workplace bullies were women? And that’s not the only stat I found. A 2011 survey of legal secretaries found that not one of them wanted to work with female partners. Among the reasons given was that they were treated in a demeaning fashion, serving as “a punching bag.” And according to Forbes, in 2012, women are “the worst kind of bullies,” apparently more vicious and nastier than their male counterparts. Interesting. It sort of makes me wonder what would happen if a company employed only women, or focused on a female-only IT department? How would the queen bee dynamic play out then? But I digress.
There are typical workplace bullying behaviors like verbal abuse, physically intimidating someone, and/or making fun of someone in front of others or humiliating them in public. Women bullies however tend to be more subtle in their tactics. A few examples of how female bullies harass their victims are…
- Exclusion from social events or conversations.
- Spreading rumors or gossiping about them.
- Criticizing their work or ideas in public.
- Taking credit for their work or ideas.
- Undermining their authority or position.
- Micromanaging their work or setting unrealistic expectations.
- Making condescending or belittling comments.
- Withholding information or resources they need to do their job.
- Sabotaging their work or projects.
- Using nonverbal behavior such as glaring, rolling eyes, or making faces.
Dealing with bullying from other women at work can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help. Here are some tips for responding to bullying from other women at work that I found online:
- Document the bullying: Keep a record of all interactions and any instances of bullying or harassment, no matter how minor they may seem.
- Confront the bully: Politely but firmly assert the right to be treated with respect and make it clear that you won’t tolerate any form of bullying or harassment
- Seek support: Talk to a trusted colleague, friend, or family member about what you’re experiencing.
- Report the bullying: If the bullying persists, consider reporting it to a supervisor, HR representative, or other authority figure.
- Take care of yourself: Practice self-care by engaging in activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.
- Seek professional help: If the bullying is affecting your mental health, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.
It’s important to remember that women responding to bullying from other women at work can be a complex and emotionally charged situation. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support when needed and that goes for men as well as women. Sigh.